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Week 20


You have no idea
How much I adore you
And worship you.
In my mind,
You’re a God
Infallible and omnipotent,
Ethereal and judicious.
I’m so afraid to talk to you
Because I am afraid of finding out
That you’re just a human
Just like the rest of us-
Fallible and frail,
Weak and so ordinary.

I’m afraid to know your dark side
And all the bad things you did
Because we all have a darker side
But the worst thing I ever did was
Love you with all my might.

I don’t want to know you because
I do not want to lose my respect for you,
I don’t want to regret making you a shrine,
I love seeing you with a rose tainted shine,
Seeing you as this perfect, otherworldly deity.
I do not want to crack this mirror of delusion
Let it stay as it is,
Even if this God cannot be mine.

I’m also afraid to find out all the ways
In which you’ll break my heart
Once you know you have it.
I’d rather love you in choking silence
Than have my heart broken
By your rejection and indifference.

Oh, to wake up one day and realise
You’re just a human
No, no, no, no, no!
You’re a God to me
A God
A fucking God

– B.